Blues

Its been a month since I had created this blog, a lot of happenings have occured since then, some ups and many downs. It never occured to me that writing can actually ease someone's brain from feeling heavy, specially if it is something that no one you dont want can read it. So today of all the days I chose to write.
My mind wanders for a topic, and the most appropriate at this time would be birthdays, since mine is around the corner. I still remember how mine were celebrated, there used to be a time when my picture along with the greetings came on the national newspaper and was read out on radio, no FM channels then, just one broadcast station. I used to take a huge cake to school and how eager my friends were to know who I would choose to walk around with me distributing cake, just for the mere reason that we were excused from attending the class just after the break.
How much life has changed since then, now for birthdays I feel guilty, apart from the fact of growing old, the plain reason of feeling lonely on this particular day, being away from home and friends, some losses of being an only child I guess. Just hoping that my children dont go through this phase in life of feeling lost.
Is it the rains in Chennai making me feel like this, I dont know, or is it the people around me, or the happenings during the last month....makes me wonder. Infact I am beginning to enjoy this, on a lighter note the laptop cannot reason can it..
I have a very special friend who doesnt believe in gifting for birthdays, I could never reason to him why we should, but I dont know why we shouldnt either, its just a feel good factor I guess, and it makes an impact especially when it is from someone whom u adore, to know that they took the pain and effort to find something for u. I know the amount of planning I take when it comes to the gift I choose for the loved ones, infact it has even taken me a years savings to reach the figure.
My brain has come to a halt, as the TV in front of me has come up with something more interesting, but I sure will continue my quest for in search of happiness, and every step will hopefully have a write up about it. Later